The reason Ona Lahlo is smiling in this picture is her mother was not allowed in the room.  I had naively volunteered for supervised visitation after being coerced into it by a county employee of Michigan’s Friend of the Court system. Supervised visitation is for criminals.  I’ve represented myself pro se six times before the county court took all my rights.  My ex RACKED up $85,000 in debt in five years before divorcing me, and I struggled two more years before declaring bankruptcy, selling my only vehicle to my coworker and waiting two agonizing years to afford lawyer(s).  Women addicted to spending and alcohol are more dangerous than meth heads.  My only fault was not being able to reach my ex and my daughter because my ex hid from me behind her lawyer daddy and changing her phone number and scaring me by saying if I came to Michigan my daughter wouldn’t be there.  I have done nothing wrong except trust the untrustworthy.  PLEASE HELP.  My only apology is not calling amber alerts on my ex when she was still my wife and she stole my kid, drove after car accidents or drove intoxicated, so that my ex could then have gotten the in-patient help she needed while covered by my good employer insurance for such mental health care.


The point of my website is to help poor people like me.

I plan to get on the ballot a paper requiring signature when people elope and marry in front of one county employee only, like I shouldn’t have done, in hindsight.  Male, veteran types like me have lots to be warned about in the USA and Israel specifically regarding Family Law.

I have proof with bank statements, phone records and text messages of my ex committing perjury but can’t yet get legal help to jail her ass.  I’ve learned from lawyer families they never have criminal records even when they’re dangerous criminals because lawyers keep their family records clean.  While poor people like me must just actually be good people all the time without a safety net of a pile of cash for a lawyer or lawyer family member wiping the bad deeds from history.

There’s no better motivator for a father than a government stealing your daughter after you do everything they ask = REPRISAL.  Further punishment from a government after you behave correctly is further REPRISAL.  Common in the military.  I have 14 written complaints about the Friend of the Court mediator who caused me so much grief, and 6 more complaints against that county sheriff who turns out (big surprise), to be friends with my ex’s new husband.  Also, the nearest lawyer I can hire without a conflict of interest is a 5 hour drive away, adding to my expenses.

I had my disabilities used against me by a court of law = DISCRIMINATION.

When I didn’t take the $20,000 BRIBE, sent to me in writing, I refused in writing, the court took my legal rights to my child anyway.  I not only have the BRIBE in writing, I have the permission of the BRIBER to publish the email.  That is brazen!

I am very scared of that county in Michigan as several government employees including the sheriff just laugh at me when I try to get them in trouble for misusing their public job to ruin my daughter and my relationship.  PLEASE HELP.

In case your as dumb as my neighbor, yes I still pay $583/month in child support even though I can’t see my child and I have no legal or physical custody rights.  My only fault is trusting a mean red-headed lawyers daughter who played me like a violin.  PLEASE HELP.  I also never missed an insurance payment for medical, dental, or vision with hardware, totaling over $800/month for a daughter I haven’t seen in over three years.  Yes, courts will do this to you, so be warned.  Get everything in writing or other ways admissible in court.  talk is heresy and not admissible.  Is the person you’re dating, not well and speaks about violence?  video them for your own safety.

If there are good lawyers out there I’ve yet to receive any help with my daughter from any of them.  PLEASE HELP.

I figure in about spring 2019 this website will be concise, mostly complete and rarely state things redundantly.  However until then I’m hammering into this keyboard.

If you read something it may moved or be deleted.

I’m a divorced dad, with the worst custody visitation possible due to being too trusting, of people who will continue to steal as long as they can.  If you can lead me to ACTUAL help, then please email me.  Thanks in advance.  Here’s my disclaimer as of April 2018.

My 800lb gorilla in the room, or Achilles heel was when people offered to help me with my kid, or share their family stories, dragging me into their reality which is the polar opposite of mine.  I have not been within a hundred miles of my child in two years because I was subconsciously distracted by alcoholics.  I find it laughably unimportant (now with AL-Anon), when people want to visit about their lives, kids, families, values, theories, morals, ethics, etc.  The $15k in child support garnished from my wages the last two years would have paid for a lot of attorney fees.  What was I doing the last two years?  Not helping my kid.

Humans talk about their kids and spousal relations naturally.  I receive too much of that from work, Al-Anon meetings, and during necessary errands requiring human interaction.  Dialogue being part of the human experience I can’t fault people for being human, but I can place boundaries.  My ear drums overflow-eth!  My time and money are focused on my child, my family, my future growth.  I only respond to people after they have directly helped (past tense) me with my child, or AL-Anon meetings, or coworker questions, when they’ve met my brain-injured mom (Deborah Warner), or my brain injured ex (my daughters mom).  I already learned my mistake trusting peoples future help offers for my child, which never materialized.

I have zero time (or money) for every human on the planet, unapologetically, other than my beautiful daughter Ona Lahlo.  I am hurting my child ever focusing again on anything other than Ona Lahlo Warner.  I meet with AL-Anon members because that helps me understand my daughter’s mother, therefore helps my daughter.  My father died of liver cancer, a pure bred alcoholic, when I was 12.  Age 13 to present (a quarter century) I worked more than full time every summer, part time during school, way too responsible, ignoring my own childhood, raising my widowed mother.  Averaged a 3.9 GPA  in public schools while working 30 hours a week.  For a quarter century I confused love with pity, programmed by my father drinking.  The next quarter century is about my needs, my family, not influenced by others.

My mother should have died of a subdural hematoma, Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), two years before I was born, so she has the memory capacity a continuous use heroin addict, except when doing that which she learned before her TBI.  I have to say no a lot now because people subconsciously get me to solve their problems, ignoring my problems when I listen to them.  This is not their fault, but mine.  I began working a little in AL-Anon in 2016, more in 2017, and 2018 an on I work the program continuously.  I won’t yet venture outside work/AL-Anon/daughter/errands, until I avoid the bait better.  I cease helping others when they say a problem of theirs during normal conversations buy my default response was to say, “let me help you with that.”  I am a child of alcoholic parents, being overly responsible.  I have to work with noise canceling headphones at work to focus.

Some alcoholics who offered to be witnesses in court against my ex-wife, reneged at the last minute and I lost my rights to my child.  I suspect (and posted to my other social media account), somehow my brain injured mom was used against me in a court.  I was right!  I will NEVER trust an addict to be anything other than what they are.  A BLACK HOLE for resources they will never replace.  Avoid addicts, live a better life.

Like any working American I only possess 33% of my life after sleep, work, and errands, and 100% of that time goes to my child.  Also, anything I write now must pass as something I’d show my daughter in the future, which of course this does.  Feel free to be upset with me, but perhaps some peace comes in knowing that every other human reads this same statement (with minor future changes as needed).  I wish you well on this journey around the sun.

—More Below—

–Thanks for visiting–

The single best birth control for men is paying way more child support than your state requires and not being able to see your child and losing all your custody rights when you’ve done nothing wrong.

My name is David Warner.  I go by Dave, David, DJ or “Hey you!”  My middle initial is J thanks to hippie parents and a hyphenated last name Warner-Witt, and a similarly colorful (to put it mildly) childhood, which made me who I am, as did your genetics and environment make you who you are.  A website about my perspective was needed, I plan to maintain it, and so on.

Divorced dads in the USA and Israel have it the worst on the planet for seeing their children.  Mothers need only cry fake tears with no supporting evidence and men lose all rights even when they hold proof of multiple counts of perjury against their wives.  This must end, if we are to have FATHERED children.  Our legal and law enforcement system is bound and gaged at this precious time giving fair pay and treatment to women (which I’m all for!), but something has to be done for men.  So my website is mostly to help men before they trust liars (lawyers) or their families who are expert liars.  DO NOT TRUST A LAWYERS WORDS.  ONLY WHAT THEY WRITE.  PRINT AND HOLD ON TO ALL WRITING.  Ask what is admissible in court.  ADDICTS and LAWYERS, require your attentions TO PROTECT YOURSELF IN THE FUTURE.

I’m going through my website gradually making as many references to gender as neutral as possible.  People instead of men or women.  Them instead of him or her.  I know my points are both specific to me and universally applicable to either gender.  My website is a work in progress.  Worked on weekly. I type fast and appreciate you visiting while I work this shit out.

I have some videos planned via YouTube then linked here.

Montana has a lot of two-lane roads, and this old acquaintance I don’t see anymore left a party very drunk and refused to let people take his keys.  Then he drove the whole way home slamming his 4wd into low gear so he suddenly slowed down, without tail lights coming on, trying to get me to rear end him.  After the fourth time it was obvious this was his version of fun.  A FUCKING DANGEROUS ASSHOLE!!!.  Turn up your senses and pay attention to people.  Are they insulting you, insulting themselves (so you pity them), or threatening anyone?  You should give them room and move around them.  This is how most drunk people get when, “high” on their drug of choice.  They turn into dangerous assholes.  I won’t say peoples names but I will convey stories of how fucked up these people are so you can spot them, avoid them and live a better life.

I’m grateful for all the alcoholic friends, drug addicts, romances, and most of all the two brain injured mothers in my life, who taught me so much!  This website, details, linked articles, and my draft writings and so much more are partially for you.  But more so the website is about how in my late 30’s I stopped being an enabler.  I am not kidding when I say I’m enjoying a second life.  A gift.  I thank those illogical people for showing me their inertia never changed by anything I did.  Their momentum has them speeding to their destiny and serenity comes from no longer standing in the way of their consequences.  Don’t apologize for other people (except maybe your kids a little), because they’ll become dependent on you.  The last thing you want is an adult dependent on you especially when you’re running around town apologizing for the addict.

Promotion vs attraction is a subtle but important difference.  I’ve discovered great relief in ceasing helping.  Don’t get me wrong I still help people but I used to help so much I didn’t know where they stopped and I began.  Like a comet or black hole some peoples inertia or gravity has a path.  I simply stand aside now.

Civil Engineers like me, licensed to practice often run smack into old laws, old ways, and precedents.  I’ll have lots to say about laws but here’s a great example of laws inability to change.  In 2007 I legally changed my last name to Warner, telling the county judge I no longer wanted to be a half Witt.  After the judge stopped laughing he still made me pay tons of money for a newspaper advertisement and other expenses in case I was hiding from creditors.  I knew he’d say this because lawyers need money.  So like a good chess player I handed the judge copies of my drivers license, bank and credit card statements, credit report, every bill, and my social security card!… all showing my name was already: David Warner and had been all my adult life (at least ten years), none showing Warner-Witt except my birth certificate.  I handed over copies of MCA state laws about name changing as well which only alluded to avoiding creditors.  Again I asked to save several hundred dollars in cost.  The judge ignored all this.  See the problem is precedents.  Judges and law need to keep themselves employed so they don’t change laws very often, unless it results in more money for the lawyers.

The law is about maintaining past precedents, even when pressing reason to accept specific changes is overwhelming, covers every part of existing laws, etc.  The poor and the environment always suffer due to having no money to pay lawyers.  In some instances misuse of laws, makes people and their lawyers fabulously wealthy, thus rewarding unethical behavior.  As an engineer in my town I can tell you it is like being a priest.  The shit I know people have done would disturb you.  Engineers and doctors must be ethical or they break the law whereas lawyers use every trick they can including lying and lack of ethics to protect their client from justified retribution.  On a fundamental level engineers and lawyers are opposites.  I have lots to say about this since it has led me to absurdities.  Fathers like me and issues surrounding my daughter quickly place me in the legal world, yet, I still don’t know what I’ve done wrong.  My child was born 10.5 months after meeting a lawyers daughter.  Now I know to only communicate with my daughters mom in ways admissible in court.  I have piles of perjury proof against her, so what does she do?  Flees to another country before I can afford an attorney.  This is what you can expect if you partner with bad people with legal backgrounds.  Lawyers should wear signs saying cheaters, or liars, etc.  But they’re also so rich they’d never submit to everyone knowing how corruptly they earn a living.  Lawyers only can help the rich avoid paying retribution for being bad people.  That’s it.

Religion is currently choking our society, not unlike how England suffered religion/government hundreds of years ago.  I love being an American with our version of government but sometimes being an American is about using first amendment rights.  Freedom FROM religion is our first amendment right and I see it’s incestuous misuse to currently protect bigots, racists, and bad actors through “freedom of religion.” Freedom of speech is so important.  Our first amendment is to protect us FROM oppression by religion.  Being silent is the only real problem.  Originally 1st amendments purpose was to separate church and state.  We have freedom from religion.  I’ll have lots more to say about the law, and religion.  Engineers like me often witness the collision of the laws of physics with the laws of our legal system while balancing public safety.  I take my oath of public safety seriously.  Engineers like me only reach our current status by being keen to solve problems while considering the greatest good with weighted equations.

An example I love is my towns social host ordinance which shifts liability to the homeowner when drunks drive away from a house.  As people crawl into their vehicle and drive away drunk I am torn as to my duty to call the police, and my duty as an Engineer.  Some alcoholics have no concern for themselves or others.  Alcoholism is a disease by medical definition.  It’s possible to have empathy for it like a person has cancer.  The social host ordinance in my view gives me added power to refuse alcoholics from entering my home.  For the safety of my daughter and future family I want to have, there are no drugs or alcohol allowed on my property.  I am a handicapped veteran, almost killed in the line of duty, and the VA hospital could give me pain relievers, but I’d rather live in chronic pain than allow any alcohol or drugs (besides Ibuprofen or Tylenol) on my property.  This provides a safe place to raise a family and incidentally excludes my mom and my kids mom from my property as they love their dopamine fix.

Like refusing a thief enter my home unsupervised.  I won’t go to bars where so many women invite me.  My town has a growing scene of breweries and distilleries.  Seeing people drive drunk confuses me and my responsibility especially with the Helena social host ordinance and being a law abiding engineer.  My daughters mother showed me where she slammed her head into my houses wall until she felt extraordinary pain.

I left the hole in the wall to remind me to never allow alcoholics in my home again:

I was shaking with fear after coming home from work, while she pointed at the hole in the wall.  I’ve left the hole in the wall there so I can show my daughter, just how self destructive her mother is.  Also I have pictures of the wall’s hole, and tried to show this in court, that I am the one physically abused (I had things thrown at me), but when you marry a lawyers kid, don’t expect to win your kid. Expect to lose lose your children and just have your wages garnished. The lawyer family is the KING.  I hope fewer and fewer lawyers graduate college, and more and more engineers graduate.  Lawyers can only protect themselves or the rich.  Poor people always lose with lawyers.  I live that truth.

I’ve had so many absurd experiences with law enforcement, judges, court employees, narcissists, a Traumatic Brain Injured (TBI) – parent, alcoholics, drug addicts, shopping addicts and an unfathomably bad divorce with custody disputes (over my daughter), this website shares my knowledge of overt deception, discrimination (gender, age, disability, etc), favoritism, motivated reasoning, overt personal bias, to name a few, to show how harmful and far reaching lawyers, courts, law enforcement, (or just rich people who can afford lawyers), are when narcissistic addicts (especially women – but men too), always avoid punishment for their fiendish behavior, spreading shitty ethics, behavior and actions affecting us all, negatively.

A curiosity of society is what we all call the functioning alcoholic.  Just think about that for a moment.  They are actually quite self destructive and their family and friends are negatively impacted, so why then are they so accepted?

I have several books in the draft stage about this and hope to find my voice which resonates with the public.  My primary working title is, “Perceived Injustices,” which my ex wrote on the motion in 2016 when her judge buddy took all my legal rights.  Makes a good book title.

We all deserve warnings about the deleterious effects of letting an addict strip us and our society of our resources to fan their flame of irresponsibility.

As I recently wrote a new friend:

I am proud of my great uncle USA Navy Admiral Richard Visser and was proud to meet him in person and have my picture with him and his family over in Spain.  You know what my ex said Richard Visser was?  “He’s a Murderer!”  Americans might be speaking half German or Japanese right now were it not for our democratic soldiers of WW2.
Much like Sheldon Cooper has a roommate agreement I now am quite pleased at a minimalist list I wrote in my head which constitutes my roommate agreement (or friend agreement), and it quickly weeds out self destructive addicts.  Too bad I couldn’t have known about such a simple list in my twenties.

I know now that apologizing so often as the son of an out of control, brain injured, widowed mother and alcoholic father who dies of liver cancer when I was little programmed me to help other people when I shouldn’t.  Addicts live of people like that.  I hope to give out good relationship tools.  People pleasing taken too far causes altruism to a fault in the helper.  Helping an addict hurts the helper more than it helps the addict.  The addict is an expert deceiver, uses manipulation and tosses people pleasers like water passes over a dam as soon as you are no longer of use to the addict.  Picture a black hole.  When enablers burn out the addict will then pull back the curtain showing how many other enablers the addict currently juggles.  Infidelity is shitting where you eat.  The only solution for the enabler is never placing themselves in such self-deprecating positions again.  When people aren’t ready for the feelings this kind of fucked up reality creates, then real problems will ensue with cops and lawyers.  I’m here to say, do you or someone you love have impulse control problems?  It may not be your fault and you might be in love with an addict.

As a divorced dad where my daughters maternal grandfather was my ex-wife’s lawyer I know first hand how trained deception, gender discrimination, and precedents skew family-law to make being a father just a child support payee while other men (in my case many men), raise my child.  My daughters mom used to work in her dads law office so her daddy helped divorce me as I represented myself pro se.  My daughters mom made sure I had no money for a lawyer, then divorced me.

I said loudly in my 3rd court case (over the phone), at the judge reminding him my wife divorced me, when the judge said, “you divorced your wife,” to me.  Judges are just following a script, punching that clock and don’t give a fuck about men like me.  This judge presided over all my court cases and like all judges they don’t care about dads at all.  Men simply pay child support to women who then have sex with new men teaching their kids to call the new men dad.  This is repeated over and over and no wonder our society is falling so fast!  It wrenched my heart each time my kid was forced to call a new man dad, on the phone with her real dad, while the child’s mother hovered nearby having installed herself as the “supervisor” of supervised visitation.  Or during each weekly phone call where the mother ignores a court order that all calls between the father and child are to be private, those calls are on speaker phone.  Ever want to experience the worst experience in life, have your ex-wife be your supervisor during supervised visitation.  I have 14 complaints against the Friend of the Court in Michigan but they never responded.  I have 6 complaints against the county sheriff but he never responded because his friend is my ex’s new husband.  I’m being treated like a black man in the south 200 years ago.  I don’t exist! I just am forced to pay ~$800/month garnished from my wages.

It’s been THREE years since I saw my daughter and I’ve broken no laws, threatened no one, but I’m treated like a felon because I’m male and my ex wife knows exactly which lie to use when keeping me from my little girl.  You men out there, be forewarned!  Women too!  Enabling only hurts the enabler and the addict won’t feel anything other than entitlement.

Especially dangerous to dads is when mommy was raised in a law office and learned every lie to say to the judge including pouting fake tears, perjury, to make the next husband marry without a prenup, oblivious to her deception, etc.  Get everything in writing so you can get your spouse arrested, jailed, etc.  Do not believe anything verbal from lawyers.  Call the cops on your spouse.  That’s rule one.  I’ve had a county sheriff laugh when I showed him a parenting time order while my ex wife dragged my child away from me.  Not enforcing his own county judge’s order.  Otherwise you’ll never see your kids, like my life now.  People from lawyer families can speak a few known lies and get away with kidnapping, run away to other countries, and cause dads tens of thousands in legal fees before hugging kids again.  Like in my case.

Men need to become more careful at this transitional time of empowering women.  I’m all for empowering women.  I watched my mom receive brutal sexual discrimination which partially made my overdeveloped sense of responsibility for rich drug addicted women.  My mom grew up in mansions with servants so I sought out entitled women. Everything a woman says who has a legal background should never be trusted.  Ever.  I only have a daughter because my daughters mom lied about birth control and could not have been pregnant faster after meeting me.  I have a receipt from when she sold me something at her then job, to my daughters birth certificate.  It’s like 11 months.  Only seriously consider what a woman says in {writing} text messages, emails, letters, or her actions which others see, as admissible in court.  Then hold on to that proof with your life.  Put it in a safety deposit box which only you can access and strictly forbid your spouse from seeing it.  Print it and put it in a fire safe gun safe.  That’s the key… admissible in court.  I want to make a disclaimer handed out with marriage certificates plainly accounting such details, weighing the risks, especially to dads who receive the brunt of legal punishment, child support, especially in the USA and Israel.  Our children are more and more fatherless due to this overt omission, and naive men at marriage time.  Again!  Addicts, especially legally trained, are experts in social manipulation.

Courts, lawyers and law enforcement depend on fathers lack of knowledge about this detail.  Our legal system is built to believe whatever a woman say with tears, without proof, while men are overburdened with showing actual proof, then ignored anyway.  Still women are given custody almost every time.  That alone, should men read it, should save many children from fatherlessness.  My daughters current fate.  My ex-wife used to work in her dads law office and just waited for a man like me to destroy.  My ex was pregnant in less than 2 months, literally couldn’t have been pregnant quicker.  Now I follow the trail of mutilated male carcasses she leaves destroyed in her wake.  Often those men contact me and share details of her behavior which should place her in a jail cell, but instead her dad keeps her record clean.  I’ve watched her destroy two marriages after mine.  Those men share details you would not believe, but I know it’s true.  I have evidence like my ex texting she’s driving drunk with my kid and wants to end both their lives!  I have those printed text messages!  But it’s dismissed and suppressed from her powerful lawyer daddy, suing that boyfriend for libel.  Women who know the law and drink to excess (or worse include narcotic drug use), Or even worse, are shopping addicts, causing financial bankruptcy, are the very very most dangerous for naive, trustful men like I used to be.

Men like me must protect ourselves from deception, learn the 48 laws of power and cease being enablers, if we want to raise healthy families, otherwise we’ll continue to support the bad behavior our parents demonstrated.  If I even help one other young father with this website it will be worth it.  I’ve had to self teach law and represent myself in court a half dozen times because my ex wife spent all my cash and left me with $60k in credit card debt. (and she spend my $20k retirement, and sold my only car $5k), 85k total.  When I met my ex wife I had a retirement account and no debts.  I printed my credit report annually.  Some women think spending is a right.  Do not support such women, ever.  Period.  Dump them and cut your losses ASAP.  This is true for men and women.  Spending addiction is real and destructive and traceable through credit card history, and bankruptcy history.  If I ever have another roommate, before they have access to my home, they and I will sit down and write up a contract and print our credit report and go over it line by line.  I can’t ever support another spending addict like my ex who divorced me.  I live paycheck to paycheck.

My ex-wife used to steal money from me by the wheelbarrow load for her “businesses.”  Wrote herself and her friends checks from my solo bank account that overdrafted to my credit card.  Ruined me.  She’d spend hundreds of dollars on actual SILK while our family could barely afford food, my spouse earned no money, making baby clothes.  No one wanted to buy art from such a repulsive person.  I should have called the cops, but I was physically, verbally, and emotionally assaulted at home and scared each time my child was kidnapped, hearing “you’ll never see Ona again.”  from my intoxicated wife.  If I called the cops I was afraid my child would be killed and it made to look like an accident.  My silence destroyed me ultimately.  All my rights were taken because I couldn’t afford a lawyer (until now).  Be warned about women who have no ability to live within the families financial means.  They’re called gold diggers and if they reproduce their kids often grow up fatherless.  Kids who see a string of father figures, like my mother showed me as a child have a long uphill battle when learning how to date in a healthy way.  I hope to raise a family someday.  It won’t be with a person even remotely like my ex.  I never saw a healthy relationship as a child, so I’ve had it rough discovering what a healthy relationship is.  Overly helpful people are likely doomed to support such financially self destructive people.  Act correctly up front for self preservation.  If they spend far more than they earn it’s a good idea to point them to addiction counseling and protect yourself.  Spouses can’t and shouldn’t fix spouses addiction problems.  Turned out later I was my ex’s business, and now currently her new third husband is her new “business,” supporting her spending while she lives in one of north America’s most expensive cities, outside the USA.  Imagine this, being married to a woman you don’t even live with while paying for her apartment, restaurants, “art business,” and other bullshit?!  You especially pay heavily for their alcohol, drugs, sex (infidelity), etc, additionally.  You will know you’re with an addict when they make you feel uncomfortable, doubting yourself, while you hold healthy views and they manipulate you to make you think you’re wrong.

It’s especially bad when women start sleeping around and telling me about the other men.  Since I watched my mom do this, I am particularly susceptible to such infidelity type women.  It is a truly fucked up situation when a man contacts you saying they slept with your (wife, girlfriend, fiancé).  AND THAT’S HAPPENDED TEN TIMES TO ME!!!   I’ve had to tell my then wife she can’t have a baby from another man.  Think about that.  Your own spouse wants a baby with another person?!  I’ve had to tell my then wife I wouldn’t be able to pay off all her debts until our kid was over 18.  That’s when she changed her phone number and hid from me.  I won’t let my insurance pay for my wife’s childbirth from another mans baby when she’s lived hundreds of miles away from me while still my wife.  Think I’m kidding?  I think the current husband is dealing with this same thing now, from a woman who will slam her fists and yells that she is an empowered woman.  She’s just abusive.  These women exist!  I find myself cheering quietly that my ex-wife drains her current husbands money faster and faster, so there’s another divorce, so I can see my kid when the courts see a trail of ruined husbands behind my ex and want my child to finally feel safety, security and stability.  That is my current hope.  Mostly though I hope my daughter doesn’t turn out like my mom or her mom.  I’ve had men contact me that they slept with my partners WHILE I THOUGHT WE BOTH PRACTICED FIDELITY.  This is extremely disruptive to engineers since we have to self report if we carry any communicable disease.  I’ve always believed I had a case if a “Loose” partner gave me a disease.  Thankfully that never happened.  But every other bad aspect of partners who practice infidelity did happen.

Some people are wired to cause bankruptcy after bankruptcy with historical spending addictions.  Fantasy.  These people are the worst because they’ll just find the next rich person to destroy as long as they look attractive to keep pulling the next man into their web of lies.  When these people finally get old and ugly, if still poor, they usually turn to self destruction or murder.  I hate listening to people threaten to hire hitmen to kill other people, but I’ve heard it all my life.  How to empower women with fair wages yet teach women the value of money and budgeting is misunderstood right now by many.  Women should be paid as much as men, but men should avoid addict women!  Addicts must seek and be open to therapy.  I’m writing all this to warn men.  Hopefully you find financially responsible women.

I for example love to cook, can build almost anything, have a flawless driving record, don’t drink any alcohol, don’t use tobacco, don’t use any drugs (Illicit or prescription), don’t gamble, don’t over spend.  Please for your own sake (mostly men), meet and spend your valuable resources with people who are similar to that last sentence so we can give our children senses of responsibility.

One scary thing I’ve now seen from several women I dated is when the relationship ends, they threaten to contact my boss at my job, just trying to be deeply threatening.  I am truly scared of women, and I won’t accept a woman ever placing me on social media.  I control this website.  women I date can refer to this website.  Women I date in the future I will consider very carefully.

I tried once to buy a woman’s kid some gift cards to Amazon, and that woman turned around and spent all the gift cards on herself.  I naively dated the woman longer but should have left her then.  She wouldn’t even give her kids a gift from me, instead spending it on herself.  Narcissism is deadly.

My idea of a project is finding a free 400gal hot tub which I moved and installed all by myself.  Love that thing.  This took planning and patience.  I suggest you find partners who possess patience and planning.  Observe that prospective friend.  Do they show impulse control problems?  They’ll only get worse if you just met them.

At a dinner with another family of whom I dated their youngest daughter the father told this joke during the meal.  Charlie and Lucy (from the comic), are standing in the front yard where snow is on the ground.  Charlie whips out his dick and writes his name in the snow with his urine stream.  He turns to Lucy and says, “Can you do that?”  Lucy pulls up her dress, doesn’t pee, and says, “With one of these I can have as many of those as I want,” pointing at Charlies dick.  I remember feeling so uncomfortable I should have left the table and the relationship (It wasn’t that good anyway).  I sat there red faced wondering should I feel upset that her dad called his daughter a slut in front of everyone…  Or should I feel sorry for this woman I was dating because her father called her a slut in front of her family.  These relationships are poisonous.  I’ve let my fascination with rescuing women take me to dark families, but no more.  Never Again!

Another legal story which formed my opinion of lawyer/judges:  I once lived in someones garage (I was 17), who was an old mistress of the county judge who presided over my moms common law marriage case.  The judges mistress was a new friend of my moms.  My mom dated the mistresses nephew.  Small towns!  Anyway when Mr. Judge (He’s threatened me that I can’t use his name – so I’ll write his name after his natural passage), heard that my mom and I lived in his old mistresses home and that’s where the disputed furniture was (I was sleeping in that garage on that disputed furniture), his face reddened, he stood up, began yelling and slamming his gavel like a stupid grade school child, turned to my step dad, yelled that the case was now dismissed and left his bench like the same stupid grade school child. Lesson one:  In law like life, only the lawyers and rich people win.  If you think the court system is free of personal bias, actually fair, and considers facts in ways which follow ethical standards, you’re blind as a blind squirrel looking for a nut.  Law follows money.  Billable hours.  Period.  If you think law is fair you’re probably rich enough you’ve always afforded lawyers, you are a lawyer, or often feel their benefit defending your wealth.  For the rest of us poor people lawyers are blood thirsty sharks to be avoided, and likely never affordable.

I had to sell my last vehicle to pay for my first lawyer and even though that lawyer was amazing I still lost all my rights to my daughter.  That was two years ago and I’ve been forced to pay $600/month in child support for a kid I can’t see.  Shockingly before that court case I was bribed with $20,000, and no longer paying child support.  I didn’t agee to lose all physical and legal custody rights.  But, no problem, the court took my rights anyway.  I refused, but not only got the bribe in writing but got my ex’s lawyer to write that I could use all his writing publicly.  HA!  You get your own chapter in my book motherfucker!  I’ve broken no laws, threatened no one, and my only mistake was trusting.  Lawyers daughters have been the most violent, fierce addicts I’ve met.  Likely observing their lawyer employed parents led to problems of social learning.

Another example of lawyers bullying is the last lawyer who gave me free advice (I bought him lunch), about my daughter.  As he walked away, like a bully pushing me, or punching me, he flatly said he’d just settled with my employer taking tens of millions of dollars.  I felt so angry my hands shook.  Later on my employer accounting department came out with a fabricated lie about the exact same monetary amount which went to that bully lawyer who I bought lunch, having been “accidentally,” lost due to a long standing accounting error.  I felt so angry.  I’m still unsure how to ever speak to that lawyer as I sometimes see him and live in a small town.  Perhaps I should say my employer is planning to take that money back to his face.  What do we say to such bullies?  Why do such bullies succeed?  Why does our society worship and encourage such thieves?  These are important questions as lawyers in general are bad for society the better they are at their job.  I’ve met the lawyers who defended the Catholic Church from their diddling priests of children and they live in mansions.  We have a problem of financially supporting a cancerous career.  We need an immunization to such cancer.  Not more students becoming lawyers, but more students becoming engineers to fix all the problems of overpopulation.

My step dad by common law, back in that shitty story with the red faced childish gavel slamming county judge, had a hundred grand for legal fees from a recent inheritance, so the lawyers smelled money and would’ve destroyed my mom and I were we not sleeping in the judge’s mistresses house.  Money, sex, and leverage controlled that court case.  My mom had just sold our last asset and our lawyer was through with my mom and I that day in court.  Can’t afford a lawyer?  That’s when they walk away, no matter how much you need them.  So my mom stood up and yelled, “The furniture is in “_____’s” garage!”  The mistresses garage.

Lawyers follow deep pockets, judges are lawyers, the rest of us poor, (or the environment) are screwed because we have no money, unless we poor find leverage.  Period.  I’ve seen rare examples to the contrary not worth mentioning because they’re like a rainbow unicorn.  Statistically unlikely that lawyers help the poor.  Lawyering in general goes against every ethical standard of engineering, which I stand for, fundamentally speaking.  Usually lawyers are most often loved by people who can afford them.  People never legally punished, staying out of jail when they should go to jail, love lawyers too.

I’m writing a book of what I’ve observed which law enforcement would kill me for making it.  I’ve stood before cops with a judges signed order and been laughed at when asking it to be enforced.  My ex wife dragging away a crying little girl.  Conflicts of interest forms would solve many problems currently cancerous in our legal and law enforcement system.  That’s a start.  But obviously the most corrupt, coercive legal systems would strictly never agree to being ethical.

I’m an ethical engineer, an Air Force veteran, a father of a brilliant 10 year old daughter (as of 2018), and this website began in 2018 for two reasons.

One:  A good American woman to date.

My as yet unchallenged disappointment of current social media.  Both in addictive overuse and meaningless content.  I used to boycott it a little but now boycott it without apology.  Not only is it not possible to convey my personal needs and perspectives to meet a good woman on social media, but I’ve found only self destructive addicts on dating websites.  And in general the only available women are addicts with little to zero self control.  If you’re the exception I’m sorry.  I know you exist.  However you are the exception to the rule.  Anyway, Social media is like swimming where the sharks are densest.  FaceBook (FuckBook), EHarmony, Tinder, Craigslist, OKCupid, Plenty of Fish, and the like have brought me face to face with people so high they stair at walls, don’t remember conversations, shouldn’t mix drugs and alcohol – but do, I’ve seen more folks arrested while standing by shaking, (filling out police reports), having done nothing wrong myself except befriend the worst people.  Women who think sleeping with lots of men is their right is common.  Most women I’ve dated got themselves fired from jobs, couldn’t hold a jobs in the first place, or never really crawled out of their wealthy parents basement from alcohol, drugs and sex.  Some people out there are just plain looking forward to getting or remaining high or the next fix.  Sex is an addiction and some women use it with deadly skill.  I see in the news and read about and find women in happy living situations, with a family or living alone, doing well, but they’re as rare as rainbow unicorns.

I’ll have lots more to say about addiction but if you’re pulling that slot machine handle and drinking beer at a bar watching “the game”, or shooting heroin hiding from family (or cocaine, meth, etc), or daily using (alcohol, tobacco, and or pot), or tithing money in church you can’t afford to give from a pew, I don’t see the difference.  Belief in a self destructive fiction is addiction.  True satisfaction with life comes from within.  Name an addiction destroying your body or checking account, and why you keep doing it…  I’m not exaggerating when I say that credit card debt is the new problem with addicts and until women are paid fairly, it’s a huge problem for women.  Too many men are financially forced into bankruptcy from wives with spending addictions at this time.  Can the woman budget, or not, simple life saving question.

Most commonly people exaggerate their good side on social media, hide their addictions, look for their next quick fix, avoid actual problems, in search of dopamine bliss.  Fiends, addicts, have to learn to be charming to survive.  Oh wait, here comes naive Dave Warner, a veteran, engineer, rescuer…  He will feel at home supporting (enabling), that fiend so they can continue using.  Here’s a quote I read that shook me to my core which I used to do with addicts… We Confuse Love And Pity And Tend To “Love” People We Can Pity And Rescue.  Once I read that, like mirrors back in time my history of rescuing women I dated open up like a magicians best trick.  Lesson learned.  Never again.  I don’t drink alcohol or use drugs but was attracted to those who did and couldn’t stop using because their lack of self care was like my widowed, brain injured mom and the lack of self care she always demonstrated.  Now I stop addicts at my door, from my car, and block their phone numbers.

Meeting a women who wants a partner, not a man to support their addiction, is one side aim of my website.

I’ve lead an interesting life. If I find a woman to share the rest of our lives and if she’s interested, raise kids, existing or new kids, cool.  If not, no problem.  I’m just through with fiends, addicts.

Current self destructive fiends, addicts, I’ve seen (female or male):  Shopping, Spending (way outside budgets), alcohol, pot, coke, methadone, suboxone, all pills, nicotine, TV (in every one-way form), gambling, sex, internet/gaming, heroin, porn, food, etc.  I have no addictions, but fiends with problems like my TBI mom, used to feel like home, so I sought them out over the healthy people I met because my subconscious was attracted to them.  Hey!  Raising a brain injured mom, raised in mansions by servants, makes a rich heroin addict, attractive to your subconscious too!  So cocaine, alcohol or heroin addicts just reminded me of my childhood, complete with memory loss issues like my TBI mom.  Now I ignore the first person I’m subconsciously attracted to in a room.

Basically if you spend gargantuan portions of finite resources, ignoring actual needs, fabricating wants into needs deceiving yourself, I wager you’re stuck in an addiction.  If something you do regularly causes deleterious health effects like lethargy, chronic complaining, tourmoil for those who love you, or leaves you penniless, and you could do different things with your limited resources but hide behind addictive behavior, you might be an addict.  I’ll take a single life over ever cohabitating again with another addict.  Once I wiped red wine vomit off my baby from my then wife in bed who couldn’t control her drinking I knew I’d married an alcoholic.

I’ve had enough of stocking a fridge with healthy food I buy and prepare which is then eaten by drunk roommates who later when sober deny having eaten it because they actually don’t remember due to blackout drunk conditions.  Reliability is impossible with such people.  Try basing a life on someone like that!  Even worse is when roommates vomit up the good food from drunkenness, bulimia, or just give it away without asking me.  That will hurt your emotions and your pocketbook enough to never again suffer an addict/alcoholic.

My addiction wasn’t to any drug, but to addicts themselves.  I derived my emotions from others emotions.  What else could a brain injured mother teach her son?  As my mom made her life and her sons life worse and worse the only thing that made her happy were those brief firework like moments her son would provide.  So I grew up looking for women in depression and with thoughts of suicide, and wealthy, and set about cheering them up.  Only problem is those women and my mother never really get better when they have a juggling clown, like Dave to keep them happy and forgetting about those bills they need to pay or that court order they’re ignoring.  There’s Dave, like a circus performer, smiling a cheek splitting smile, making everyone happy after yet another heroin overdose death.

My mom has an award from Hospice for playing at 1,000 hospice events.  She was magnetically drawn to addicts and the poor, yet she grew up with servants in mansions all over the world, the daughter of a diplomat.  Death to me is as common as flushing the toilet.  My dad died of liver cancer when I was 11, my mom only brought home drug addicts, and was a drug addict herself, so I was doomed to date beautiful, rich drug addict women and dote on them like I watched my mom dote on them, until OH! another one dies of a heroin overdose, well, lets open up the rolodex and find another addict to cheer up…  Kids inevitably do as they are shown, despite what they hear from their parents.

I’ve also had enough of women high on drugs who then prefer drug dopamine to sex dopamine leaving me alone while they glide on clouds of drug high dopamine in bliss in bed.  Passed out for the most part.  Sheltering such addicts won’t happen again.  They’ll need to find their own food, shelter and clothing.  I didn’t use drugs but my fault was enabling such addicts (helping then in a way that only gave them more time to do drugs), Reminded me of raising my mom.  Have you supported a drug or alcohol addict?  It’s a nearly hopeless situation, and you can’t fix the addict.  You shouldn’t try to fix the addict.  The solution is letting the addict find help and don’t guilt or shame them.  The addict has a disease.  The addict can’t be fixed until they want to fix themselves.  I reached my limit of sleeping next to drugged out high woman who professes every day how much they love me but her actions prefer her schedule 1 drugs instead of making love in the evening.  Often too hungover each morning for any romance.  As long as their are naive men like I was out there supporting such women, (and yes I know men do this vice versa), such addicts will just use drugs and people until the person is spent, then move to the next person and continue the addictive behavior.  Entitlement is a cancer right now due to our wealth and free time.  I wrote a whole page on it and add to all my website often.

For 23 years (since age 15), I’ve only dated alcoholics, drug addicts, spending $ addicts, because they reminded me of the unpredictability of a childhood with my brain injured mother.  Here’s some facts on overdose deaths from the CDC.

“Drug overdose deaths and opioid-involved deaths continue to increase in the United States. The majority of drug overdose deaths (66%) involve an opioid. In 2016, the number of overdose deaths involving opioids (including prescription opioids and heroin) was 5 times higher than in 1999. From 2000 to 2016, more than 600,000 people died from drug overdoses. On average, 115 Americans die every day from an opioid overdose. We now know that overdoses from prescription opioids are a driving factor in the 16-year increase in opioid overdose deaths. The amount of prescription opioids sold to pharmacies, hospitals, and doctors’ offices nearly quadrupled from 1999 to 2010, yet there had not been an overall change in the amount of pain that Americans reported. Deaths from prescription opioids—drugs like oxycodone, hydrocodone, and methadone—have more than quadrupled since 1999.”


pill deaths finally made the USA’s life expectancy graph cease rising just last year so many people committed suicide on pills. I take the harsh view that calling it a suicide is appropriate as the user always wanted to get higher and higher never knowing their brain could never get them as high again as they were the first time because that first time really burned their brain and body system permanently.  But like I said, you can’t reason with an addict stuck in their addiction.  Pull that slot machine or put flame to that meth, I see no difference in resulting self destruction.  We all need to be smarter and say no to addicts so they want to change because no one will keep enabling them.  Unfortunately sex, food and shelter are all biological needs and will likely always keep addicts and enablers in business.

I grew up with my mom telling me about overdoses, suicides, and out of control fiend friends of hers.  She wasn’t discerning with her friends, so neither was I.  Recently, someone I was financially supporting, being a father role model for, died of a heroin overdose.  Right then and there I immediately ceased all communication with all addicts.  Period.  No questions.  No apologies.  No exceptions.  My over developed sense of responsibility had finally shocked me to the core of my soul.  My habit of helping addicts died with that young adult who knew me so well.  Help for the addict is by attraction, not promotion.

If you’ve read this far, thanks.  To summarize my brain injured mother provided no memory recall to me.  Also my widowed, brain injured mother provided no safety or stability with living situations.  My house now is the 40th place I’ve lived.  Growing up, thinking this was normal, I gravitated to alcoholics and drug addicts after the workday because that’s what I knew as an only child son raising a widowed brain injured mother.  I was sober yet helped addicts with my style of altruism to a fault reminding me of my childhood.  When my blood pressure became problematic a doctor described a program for people continually helping alcoholic or drug addicted spouses.  It made all the difference.  I’m finally calm, and see the landscape of addicts I built up around me.  Many Americans are addicts due to availability of free time and money.  Anyway I won’t help another addict and look forward to dating my first woman who isn’t an addict.  For now I’m taking years off dating.


Second website purpose is my perspective and comments on civil engineering and other issues where social engineering experts attack with misdirection, delusion, and plain bullying, of the scientific method.  Science is what brought us to the standards we enjoy today.  Civil engineering taught me how foundations of society work.  Even that word, work is dense in the context of engineering.  So is energy.  Tell me something you depend on that is not created out of the scientific method and good engineering…  I bet you can’t.  Being the richest, loudest, or best social manipulator, causes everyone’s detriment.  Making an addict clean is as difficult and probable as making an extrovert into an introvert.  People have inertias, karmas, and directions and change is difficult and rare.  We make movies and poke fun at addiction but I think this might increase addiction by our youth by showing role models making bad choices.

I bought the 3 DVD set of the Hangover because the price was finally right on amazon and it made my shipping free, and in the first scene I stopped it, boxed it up and don’t plan to watch anymore.  A wedding ruined by an alcoholic blackout?  My history of blacked out addicts made that scene unbearably close to reality.  I see so much that needs fair representation against all the misinformation circulating.  Making addiction seem funny is like making propaganda (without laws about truth), seem healthy.  Right now we have far more people dying of addiction to alcohol, tobacco and pills than car crashes, yet our role models make addiction into funny stories, and we admire them for it.  Step one to avoiding misdirection is turning off your television.  Can you do that or do you have a TV addiction?

I work with a few otherwise smart people who choose to ignore fundamentals of engineering concepts which they had to learn to hold their current job.  There’s a lot of mysticism floating around us today.  Regardless of education, though the more education the less likely people are persuaded by lies.  A few stories (the Bible), and prayer, won’t save your children from blue baby disease if you’re stupid enough to feed them nitrate filled well water living down river (ground water or river water), of major agricultural farms pumping nitrates into the water without clean water act repercussions (protected by lawyers).  The gutting of our clean water act is a great example of the rich destroying the poor.  Only science, medicine and engineering will help save your families health in this scenario.  Not prayers, or lawyers.  Ignoring science to pray is a form of Darwin Award winning.  Deadly.  Promoting nonsense should be illegal but isn’t due to advertising having no repercussions for lies.  We are awash in leaders spouting fake facts right now.  I hope we don’t unravel our democracy so a few selfish deceivers can have their narcissistic way.  I think our founding fathers wrote some strong documents.  Time will tell if the documents are strong enough.

A problem is the introverted nature of engineers vs the extroverted nature of social engineering practitioners (Bullies, liars (lawyers), ego-centrics, alcoholics, addicts, assholes, attorneys, and anyone who liberally uses social manipulation.  Being loudest isn’t the same as being right.  Want to see stupidity in action, read all about the phrase, “I don’t recall.”  and how overused it is by deceivers in law.  Engineers on the other hand are sworn to tell the truth to fraud, sign conflict of interest forms, and point out public safety violations to keep people safe from hazardous locations.

A bully will memorize a rebuttal and use it whenever faced with facts that disrupt their myth.  Then they practice being the biggest fish in the small pond to get their way.  Instead of learning new things these people get louder with their lie, attack verbally, and can’t admit they don’t know something.

I pilgrimaged to Europe after high school (on my own earned cash), to stand where religious zealots attempted to destroy science.  I will never forget how bullying tactics of the powerful religious types has killed people like me.  A few years back a Psychologist diagnosed me with Aspergers before it was removed from the DSM as a category.  Aspies we are called, on  Old friends used to call me Sheldon, from the Big Bang theory, and bought me that TV series on DVD to emphasize my lack of social understanding yet overdeveloped engineering sense.  All social interaction I’ve learned by observation and rote memory.

The psychologist I found working in Helena MT used to have a private practice in Pasadena, CA, working with employees of the California Institute of Technology. He taught me many fantastic techniques when dealing with neurotypicals (NT). Strangely I’ve met people who say I don’t have Aspergers, unaware I’m using every trick I know so they perceive me as NT.  I guess its human to critique others.  It’s good to ignore uneducated opinion.

Deception and delusion is alive and practiced all around us.  The rich live off secrecy about their suckling off some rich vein of society.  While a political leader calls for smaller government, they hide the fat breast of government they’d die without.  Practicing NT behavior to hide Aspergers isn’t in the same ballpark as the rich lying about conflicts of interest when directing public money policy.  Conflicts of interest get you fired (or should), while NT behavior learned just helps aspies seem more personable.  Eye contact, smiles (see link about inauthentic behavior on my EI page), ask them about themselves, don’t share too much about myself, build a sandwich with them, verbally, back and forth one layer at a time.  NT behavior is quite simple once learned.

I will have much more on the two things we can’t get back.  Time and money. Between my brain injured mom, two ex’s (one wife, one fiancé), and several addicts I helped far past the point I should have, I have watched about a million dollars vaporize into clueless addiction.  The most frustrating is when those addicts stare back at me unknowingly, unthankful, without memory, only wanting more and more again and again.  Vacuuming up my limited resources.  My only solution is to protect myself by letting the addicts go.  Only addicts hitting rock bottom, will make them want to fix their disease.  Otherwise addicts find enablers supporting the next addict behavior.  We humans are complex.  Pity is not love, but children of alcoholic parents may not know the difference until an addict really fucks them over, divorces them, steals the kids, leaves them a pile of debt (from the addict), forcing the overly responsible one to declare bankruptcy before an attorney can even be bought to find the kid.

I’ve never understood why people gamble, drink alcohol, use tobacco, do expensive drugs, avoid personal responsibility in addictions.  I like reading books, bicycling for fun or to commute to work, cooking my own healthy food, and studying everything.  When I study addicts though I see copouts for lesser minds.  At work I’m often asked to cook for my coworkers for social gatherings.  My chili is on it’s seventh version and often demanded by groups.  I find it fascinating to live life in the cheapest possible way, balancing return on investment, energy conservation, and how I value my time.

When addicts (like my folks), met me and my over developed sense of responsibility drove me to help them too much my life got all messed up.  I’ve finally booted the last addicts and look forward to professional friendships, healthy friendships, reading, inventing, working, remodeling, construction, cleaning up, and enjoying the rest of my life free of addicts.  I really like landscaping and remodeling it feels good making that a priority.

I’m glad to meet by email, other electronic means, eventually phone, maybe later perhaps at some of Helena’s public locations.

Helena is a great place to hike, mountain bike, and the truly amazing Mount Helena (A 1,200 foot mountain and city park), is relaxing and located right in town.  If you (male or female) suggest something expensive to do instead of a free walk, I’ll laugh as I burned out on deliberate cash burning addict behavior.

Location:  Helena, Montana, United States of America.

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This page is under construction, subject to change.